You Will Be Missed

Our family had a family friend pass today. I wanted to talk a little about him.

He is a father of four awesome kids. Two of them are best friends with two of my siblings. We went everywhere with them and had each other for dinner. We are basically family.

When i got pregnant, they were some of the first people told. They were so nice to me. They talked to me all the time, they sat by me in church, they invited me places with them, but they also just listened. They stood up for me to judgmental people. They loved me. Their oldest son is adopted, so they were able to really relate to me. They told me their perspective and shared with me their experience.

The mom, one of my very good friends, was one of my witnesses at placement. It was so amazing to have her there, i will forever love her for that. As soon as i had Jack, they called and asked how i was.

He was diagnosed with Leukemia 2 1/2 years ago. He suffered, and had treatment after treatment. He had a bone marrow transplant, and did a lot better. He was always so strong and loving. He had a hip replacement and countless amounts of chemo. He was doing better until about last fall. He was in and out of the hospital. Even when he wasn't feeling good, he went to work, and did things with his kids. He was so strong.

It hurt to hear the news last week that he wasn't doing well. It was a common thing to hear, but the tone of peoples voices confirmed that there was no up on this roller-coaster anymore. It would be soon. It was hard to see his kids at our house playing, trying to be strong. They are so young.

The hospital let him come home two days ago. He wanted to be with his family for the last moments. We were all hoping for a miracle. You always want one to happen.

He slipped into a comma last night as we took dinner over.

This morning, he returned to our Heavenly Father.

He doesn't have to suffer anymore. He can be at peace and pain free.

He loved his kids and loved everyone. He was so nice and was so easy to talk to. He was open and outgoing and just kind hearted. He was so funny too, he always made me laugh. He was willing to go beat up people when they judged me.

I never said bye. I cant believe that i never made time to go see him at the hospital. After everything he did for me. After all of the words, all of the hugs and love. Was i really so busy that i couldn't go? But would it have  helped or made it worse? I did write him a note, but it never got there. My mom told him what it said, so im so happy that he at least he knows how much i loved him. I just really wish that i could have been there to tell him myself. I wish so much.

You will be missed, and always be loved. Thank you for everything. We know you are in a better place, and i know that you will help your family and support them.

I love you.