My lovely friends decided to help me burn a big black garbage bag full of stuff from Jasper. A lot of stuff i have gotten over the years has already been thrown away, but i had a few things left.
During one of our many breakups, he gave me back all of the notes i ever gave to him, which was weird. But my friend and I were reading them and i could NOT believe how desperate and stupid i was. "I love you so much, please take me back, its ok if you are with her, i know we will be together someday". Wow. Me and my friends were just laughing at it. Frankly, i was disgusted. I just cant believe how blind and idiotic i was.
So, he always tried to make me be Anarchist like him, and i was. Or, at least, i THOUGHT i was. So he thought it would be hot if i stitched the symbol in my pants, which of course i did because i thought i was cool.
Burn. The. Boxers. Oh yeah.
Yeah, i was excited.
And they stunk. Bad.
It was really therapeutic. It was weird though. I mean, the stuff was just sitting in my room, and i thought "Oh yeah, gotta do that fire", but now that its gone, completely gone (except for the things that wouldn't burn. Thanks to my friend who knew what was and was not burnable, or else i probably would have burned the house down. We did set the fire alarm off though.), its.... i dont know. He was part of my life for so long, and now my room is completely new, no more jasper. He never existed. Which is weird.... because he did. I will never forget him existing. But his stuff is gone. It doesn't haunt me or bother me anymore. But its weird that it is gone, like it shouldn't be gone, it should still be in my room. Does any of this make sense?
The only thing i have left is pictures, which are all going to Jack. He deserves to know what his birthfather looked like, or where he gets certain features from. I didn't even realize that Heather and Kirk have no idea what he looks like either.
Whew..... its good, but still weird.
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