Dipping My Toe in Different Ponds

So my counselor is worried that im trying to do too much at once. I agree. It is nice to get out and be with people and be social, but... i dont know how to be social. I am not kidding. I had ONE boyfriend, and that was where my attention was. I never hung out with friends, went to movies, went to the mall. Well, a few times, but hardly ever. So i dont know what to do when i go with a friend to their friends friends house with a bunch of people i dont know. Im bad a socializing. Im working on it. So im trying not to freak myself out and get too wound up.

She says i need to be a diva. I need to figure out what Mariel likes to do, love myself, be proud of myself, and know what i want. I need men to hunt me and i need to have an opinion, say "No, i dont want to eat there" and stuff like that. She says i need to go out with dozens of boys, have fun, pick out pros an cons, make a list, and when im ready, use that list to find my man. WHEN im ready. Which wont be for a while. She says to not be scared, embrace the single life, love it, try different things, go different places. Apply for school, join clubs, go to different singles wards. Finish high school, talk to counselors about what college to go to.

You want to know what my face looked like while she was saying this? Yeah. I cant do this!! Im only 18! I just had a baby 6 weeks ago!!!! I want to be social, i want so badly to go do things and be normal like nothing ever happened, and that is what i have been doing, and she says that that isn't good. She is afraid that i am going to go too far and have everything come back hitting me. I agree. I need to slow down. Im so scared, for some reason, of being social and putting myself out there.

I am just so confused right now.